If you’ve never experienced therapy on any level, it can be difficult to grasp the ideas behind it: discover your fears, loves, failures and wins. Then decide, with exercises and tools, how each of these experiences affects your life or a specific part of your life. Now imagine all of that in book form. Living an Orgasmic Life: Heal Yourself and Awaken Your Pleasure by Xanet Pailet is more than a book; it is a reference guide, a tool, a journal, and a look into other’s personal accounts of growth and healing.
Dealing with any self-discovery is pretty intense, especially if that discovery deals with something as intimate as sex. Sometimes people can confuse the physicality of sex with intimacy, but that is not accurate. Together sex and intimacy can provide a mind-blowing experience, but a lot of people get the two confused and end up unsatisfied somewhere in their sexual journey.
Author Xanet Pailet encourages her clients to dig deep into their pasts to help resolve current sexual issues. These issues include natural pain management, letting go of negative past experiences, association with positive experiences, and growth. She insists that once you heal the mind you can move on to the body.
“Way too many people around the world are disconnected from their sexuality…The good news is that there is more awareness of the role healthy sexuality plays in our lives and more resources are available to address sexual issues.”
Pailet works from experience. She did not always have a healthy relationship with sex, she did not even have a firm grasp on who she was or what she wanted at a certain point in her life, but she had an awakening and from then on has dedicated herself to improving her life and the lives of others. She was once a lawyer and now dedicates her career and personal journey to full-time sex and intimacy coaching. She is a certified Somatica Sex and Intimacy Coach, Sexological Body Worker, Holistic Pelvic Care Practitioner, and Tantra Educator.
This book offers personal accounts from Pailet’s clientele. She covers trust issues, painful sex, sexual abuse, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, masturbation, orgasms, healing, and self-love. Pailet made it a point to recognize LGBTQ readers even though most of the stories were heterosexual, which made me happy. I knew she had readers like myself in mind, which made the contents of the book much more interesting and helpful.
This book is a mixture of self-help, memoir, and journal. Pailet offers exercises that you can do with your partner. She has journal prompts so you can dig deep into your thoughts and feelings and she offers stories from people who have dealt with similar issues, as well as recounts her experiences.
If you keep an open mind while reading this book, it will help you determine if you have any deep-seated issues with sex. Realizing that lack of interest is a deep-seated issue will help you devise a plan to resolve these issues. I learned a lot from Pailet and this book and was able to help me open up with my wife about a lot of things that made me uncomfortable or things that I wanted to try in our sex life. She was in return able to communicate some of her issues. We decided then that we would use the love bubble as Pailet suggested for all of our resolution sessions.
It is a very powerful feeling to be in control of your body and your experiences. It takes practice, but you can figure it out. Pailet makes sure you have a starting point to figure those issues out.
“[Because] Our very existence and the continuation of our species depends on our sex drive. The biological mandate to copulate is at the very core of who and what we are. There is no energy more powerful than the ability and drive to create a new life.”