O, The Oprah Magazine / Stephen G. Post

“Love of self is as important as love of your neighbor.” Stephen G. Post, author of God & Love on Route 80, discusses the value of unconditional love (& boundaries) in a new O, The Oprah Magazine article: https://www.oprahmag.com/…/re…/a29655773/unconditional-love/

Excerpt:

“It's a matter of extending our non-judgmental attention, acceptance, and caring toward a person without any expectation or hope of receiving anything back, or wanting them to change in order to meet our needs,” says John Amodeo, PhD and a licensed marriage and family therapist. “When the happiness and security of another is as real and meaningful to us as our own, we love that person unconditionally," adds Stephen G. Post, PhD, president of the Institute for Research on Unconditional Love. However, the trouble with this ideology is human love tends to be conditional on reciprocal calculations, tit-for-tat pay backs, and is generally a bit nearsighted, Post says.

Okay, but is unconditional love healthy?

If there's any sort of abuse or violence in the relationship, that's when unconditional love can cease to be a good thing, argues Post. “Love of self is as important as love of your neighbor,” Post continues. “Unconditional love can be healthy, but this does not imply tolerating hurtful behaviors. No one should ever be a doormat because it teaches others treating people that way is okay when it’s not,” he says.