Did you know that at its root, the word “power” simply means “to be able”?
And when you talk about taking back your power, you’re simply reminding yourself that you are, indeed, able.
You are able to set healthy boundaries.
You are able to make decisions.
You are able to say “yes.”
You are able to say “no.”
You are able to stand on your stories.
You are able to respect yourself and your choices.
You are able to love yourself in the face of emotions like shame, guilt, and regret.
You are able.
Even when it feels like you are helpless and hopeless, you are still able.
One of my clients was struggling recently with whether or not to call her mother. On the one hand, she “didn’t want to deal with whatever she’s going to say” and on the other hand, she “didn’t want to feel guilt.” You could say she believed herself unable to do either. She had put herself into a powerless position.
After some coaching, she decided to call her mother and even though her mother acted exactly as she expected her to, she was glad she had done it. Not because it “made her mother happy” (it didn’t).
It wasn’t that she called, but that on the other side of having called, she liked and respected herself and her reasons for calling. She created evidence that she is powerful. It wasn’t about pleasing her mother, it was about showing herself that she is able. Capable. That she made a choice. And that she’s okay. Another time she may decide not to call and then sit with whatever feelings come up. And in that moment, she will also be powerful and able.
Because really that’s what you want, yes? To no longer feel that you’re at the mercy of your mother. To be an adult daughter (with the emphasis on “adult”).
This goes waaaaay beyond that. Women who are powerful and able in regards to their relationships with their mothers are so much more powerful and able in the rest of their lives: as partners, as creators, as mothers, as entrepreneurs, as makers, as humans. And the world needs more women who know they are able.
Much, much love,