13 Interesting Explanations For Why You’re Always Attracted To Toxic Partners, Because A Pattern Can Mean A Lot
Toxic partners often give off a "bad" vibe that many people find attractive. They're kind of moody, kind of dark, and very cool in a lot of ways. But if you've always been attracted to toxic partners, you know none of that guarantees a happy, or healthy, relationship.
That's because, along with the excitement and intrigue, come many (many) undesirable traits. As psychologist Dr. Helen Odessky tells me, toxic people are often emotionally unavailable, manipulative, and untrustworthy. Sometimes they cheat, or refuse to commit, or throw all their baggage onto your life. These types of partnerships can, unsurprisingly, lead to anxiety, depression, stress — and often really bad breakups.
So, why is it that you keep getting stuck in this awful pattern? As Odessky says, "The excitement that this generates is grounded in familiarity, and we may find the intensity attractive at first. In the long run, [though], this wears us out ... because our emotional needs for trust and safety and acceptance are not met."
This is right around when you might start wondering "why you always do this to yourself," before it all starts up again. Sound familiar? Then read on for some more reasons why you're constantly attracted to toxic partners, as well as what to do about it.
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